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Nutritional Soundness of New Manna and Quail Diet Debated

reported by BNP via the Exodus Examiner A new diet is being strictly followed by a Hebrew cult recently found camping in the Sin Wilderness.  Those who sign up are limited to eating bread for breakfast, quail for dinner, and drinking water purified with branches of a secret type of tree.  The health benefits of [...]

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Pharaoh and Army Mysteriously Disappear

reported by BNP via the Exodus Examiner Emergency meetings are being held behind closed doors to decide on a new Egyptian ruler.  The former Pharaoh was last seen departing Egypt with his best 600 chariots.  He and his troupes were going to apprehend a large group of runaway slaves who are vital to the Egyptian [...]

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Hebrew Slaves Paint Houses at Dusk

reported by BNP via the Exodus Examiner All of Egypt watched with horrified fascination this evening as the Hebrew slaves came from their homes at twilight to paint their doorposts red. Up until a few weeks ago, most Egyptians hardly paid attention to the Hebrew sector, except when buying bricks.  Lately, the Hebrews make Egyptians [...]

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Mr. Hatshepsutson Speaks Out Against Egyptian Emigration Restrictions

reported by BNP via the Exodus Examiner In a strange twist of Egyptian politics, Mr. Hatshepsutson is attempting to move his whole constituency out of Egypt.  Egyptian emigration regulations strictly prohibit the movement of large groups of people out of the country.  The Pharaoh has threatened to call all chariot strike forces to action to prevent [...]

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Freak Storm Front Devastates Egypt Just Misses Goshen

reported by BNP via the Exodus Examiner Free Egyptian Magician Aid (FEMA) has been scrambling this month to respond to multiple nationwide disasters.  The latest, an unprecedented thunderstorm, has devastated Egypt’s barley and flax crops, as well as leading to the deaths of any persons and animals that were caught out in it.  The National Open [...]

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