Daily Improvisations

  • Inside the Homestead
    • Sewing
    • crochet and knit
    • Playing House
    • In the Workshop
    • Cooking and Food
    • Helpless Female
  • Out in the Garden
    • In My Greenhouse
    • Gardening in Southwest Idaho
    • Straw Bale Garden Project
  • Out with Animals
    • Chickens
    • Goats
    • Horses
  • Around the Globe
    • Adventures with Wild Greg
    • Chocolate Shops Around the World
    • Life in Taipei
    • About Town
      • My Blogs
  • The DI Store
    • DI Gardener’s Shop
    • How to Build a Backyard Brick Oven From Scratch (Book)
    • Custom designs
  • DI Memberships
    • Log In
    • Sign up to be a DI Sewing Room Insider
    • Dream House Members Area
      • Dream House Eyewitness Login
      • Your Account
      • Dream House Project
    • Become a Dream House Eyewitness!

Helpless Female Ponders the True Meaning of the Christmas Flu Season

December 25, 2013 by Laura Blodgett Leave a Comment

Everyone is always arguing about the true meaning of Christmas. What they don’t understand is that the dates are all a hoax to distract us from the Flu Season. Think about it. The first victims of the Flu start succumbing near the end of November, the beginning of the supposed holiday season. The worst of it is over by the traditional date of the wise men visiting the Christ-Child. (Not discussing the validity of the event, just the dates chosen for commemoration.) It doesn’t matter how the names and emphasis of the winter holidays have changed, one thing has been consistent. The Flu.

December 25th is more like the most probable date that any given person will get sick. It’s a lot like a pregnancy due date, in that while out of all the days surrounding it, it carries the highest statistical chance of one day of being “the” day, the likelihood of being sick on all the other days combined obscures this fact. The first attempts to deal with this were more solemn festivals, but festivals nonetheless. When half the village is flat on their backs, it’s time to grab a drink. They may not have understood germ theory (not that understanding has helped us all that much), but they knew that something to warm the middle parts helped deal with the aches and pains.

Possibly you ask what my evidence for this is. I have set up a study in the usual way. I determined my conclusion. I then collected random data from volunteers and media reports, and immediately published my conjecture findings. What is important is that I am right. The winter festivities are a thinly veiled attempt to distract us from the death of the sun and the loss of our voices.

As I lay here in my bed between sweats and chills, this all makes perfect sense. When you realize that Christmas is a holiday of the Northern Hemisphere, there can be no doubt. All it took was one winter for the Ancients to realize they didn’t want to go through that again. But since there was nothing they could do about it, they made up games and riddles; and sang songs pretending it was all fun. Their children believed them and only remembered the sparkly things. The sick people could be abandoned in their huts, while everyone else was dancing to stay warm. Or was putting up torches because the dishes still had to be done after dark.

The legends about reindeer are easy to explain. The squirrels in the roof sounded of pitter patter, but were never seen. People assumed the rodents were hibernating, but the critters were really organizing their nuts. They accidentally dropped a few nuts down the chimney, and a person in a fever induced brain fog thought this was gifts from magical creatures.

Of course, any holiday is what you make of it. If you are already over the flu, or haven’t had it yet, certainly celebrate that fact. Just don’t stay up too late; and be careful who you hug. Because this time of year, somewhere it is always the Night Before the Flu.

 

Filed Under: Helpless Female, Inside the Homestead Tagged With: helpless female

If you want to read a heartwarming story about how a mother deals with a daughter's death, read this book.

If you have ever wanted to cook pizza in a brick oven in your own backyard, this book is for you!

Basic Facts Guides to Gardening in Southwest Idaho

a list of blog articles covering the basics to help you with your garden in southwest Idaho

My Other Blogs

  • Fun Fitness After 50
  • Fun Learning Chinese
  • LauraBlodgett.com
  • The Happy Homeschool

Blogroll

  • Anemone Flynn
  • Fine Gardening
  • Gourmet In The Field
  • Sew 4 Home

About me

 

 

Daily Improvisations is a project by Laura Blodgett

If you want to know more about what I’m up to and where to read about it, here is a summary!

Making sure you know that:

Some of the links on this site are affiliate links, including affiliate links to amazon.com. See disclosures here.

Contact Me

Contact Me
First

All pictures and content including the name and logo “Daily Improvisations” are Copyright (c) 2019 by Laura Blodgett, unless otherwise noted. Please contact the author with any questions or comments.

Tags

animals Backyard Oven backyard weeds book reviews Chef Betharoni chickens Cori Lou Costa Rica crochet and knit decorating even I can do dehydrating fabric stores around the world flowers flowers from seed Gardens Around the Globe helpless female homestead injuries insects interview Maui music organizing poems PVC Pipe Projects questioning the establishment recipes restaurant reviews sew sewing southwest Idaho gardening sprinklers stock market diaries Taipei Taiwan technology know-how The Best Little Chocolate Shops tools and equipment underground house unimpeded parenting Wild Greg Adventure

Copyright © 2023 · Beautiful Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in